By Drain Doctor on 08/06/2016

The festival season is upon us again. As well as enjoying the bands, the chill-out tents and the exotic food on offer at outdoor events up and down the country, you will need to consider a few practicalities. Not in the spirit of Rock ‘n Roll perhaps, but necessary.

Apart from acquiring some camping gear, getting to the festival site and pitching up it is wise to consider how you’re going to cope with calls of nature throughout your time there. Firstly, make sure you have plenty of loo roll.

Secondly, remember that you only need to visit the portaloo – the Turd Tardis if you will – for ‘number twos’. You’re outdoors so you should be able to find a convenient bush or tree to pee behind.

Try and get in touch with your inner rhythms and get queueing well in advance of your need to go. If you can, keep any eye out for when the on-site sanitary team are tackling the loos. Try and time your visits for as soon as possible after the Tardis has been emptied and cleaned.

Mind what you eat. Don’t get caught short after a dodgy lamb Buna or chilli tofu surprise!

Even better, pick a festival with posh wash facilities, flushing loos and hot showers – it’s so much more civilised.

Failing that, stay at home and watch the ‘Glasto’ coverage on the TV. Rock on!

Photo: Courtesy Mike Peel (